CHEMISTRY :(

I am feeling so messed up it's not even funny. I just spent about ten to fifteen minutes crying in my living room. my dad was beside me and he didn't even ask if i was ok. i mean, i loove my dad, of course i do, but come on! you can't just sit there and hear someone cry and not ask what's up. it all started...2 years ago. i chose chemistry as my science option. and now i have the exam on monday. i don't get chemistry IN THE SLIGHTEST. and so i'm spending every spare moment trying to revise. and then my dad says i have to work with sheep tomorrow [2 days before exam.] and it doesnt help that my teacher expects me to get the top grade. NEVER going to happen, but these people just can't absorb the PLAIN FACTS. I am NOT a scientist. I never will be. And there's no point trying to say I can do anything if I try because I do not get it. it is so frustrating to me becaus enormally i can just look over certain things and i can usually memorize them ok, but it comes to chemistry and not a thing is understood by my brain/mind. and i don't care becase i wont do anything scientific when i'm older. but it leaves a large 'Worry' sign at the back of my mind knowing that I won't do well in the exam. so i am trying to revise revise revise revise triple revise to hopefully get a decent mark. (trust me, lately my marks aint been that hot, so i am very worried.) and this is not helped by having to get up at 7AM to go help with some goddam sheep. i mean i'll do it for Dad but i do not want to in the slightest. i would rather eat pork all day. and i hate pork. i am so MISUNDERSTOOD. I hate science. not all the work people have done in the field of science. Just trying to learn about covalent bonding, glucose production and whatevr the hell else there is in the bloody textbook. AAAAAAAAAAAAGH. take all my frustration out on the keyboard. b laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. hate cheeeeeeemistryy. the only bright spot in my mind will be that, at 12.21pm on Monday, NO MORE CHEMISTRY. and the textbook can go straight up the creek. and never come back.

Desperately desperately desperately desperately wishing for a good mark so i can have something to show for my 2 torturous years in the science lab. and that is the only reason i am studying. no doubt i'll be blogging when i come home on monday about all the test. i'll be either crying or smiling. (taking the exam too seriously? that's me all over.)

WISH ME LUCK..X

[Had English today. Was good.]

:) :( :) :( ;]